The one with chicks

On our way to kabini river lodge…me and this other dude (lets just call him loser2 for the sake of convenience)…on a TVS scooty!
For the ignorant-
Kabini River Lodge-
To the common man- hunting lodge of the erstwhile maharaja of Mysore/
Elephant country/ white water paradise
To me- Gold Flake Kings@ Rs.40 per pack
Haywards 5000@ Rs. 65 per bottle
TVS scooty-
To the common man- 59cc/ 2-stroke/ 3.5 HP machine
To me- Loser2’s bike
Before you start wondering what the two of us were doin’…lemme tell you that there were 3 chicks waiting for us at our destination…3 chicks and a pack of hungry wolves- geeks too have an appetite you know! So here we were stuck with each other, having missed our corporate bus, for the better half of the 300kms. We’ve been doin’ our top speed (55kmph) for the last two and a half hours…

It’s country side…already getting dark…lots of trees…horrible road…bad tasting bugs

Do I see a campfire off the road some distance ahead? Loser2 sees it too.
We decide to make our first pit stop expecting a drink or two.
“shit man!! HOT chicks!!!” I literally have to punch through his open mouth to calm him down. I’ve already appraised the situation. Two chicks…among the hottest I’ve ever seen…a banged up maruti…one fat mom…a missing dad…probably lookin’ for help in a nearby town.
“We just have to play our cards right dude. Try to look sincere for a change and we might manage to get their phone numbers if we are lucky.” Loser2 agrees…he already has a sincere look…I wonder if my tongue’s hangin’ out…doesn’t feel like it though…coz my mouth’s runnin’ dry.
“can we be of any help auntyjee?” Loser2 is the first to speak.
“we had an accident beta.” “my husband was tryin’ to avoid hitting a stray dog when we hit a tree. Thankfully no one’s injured.”
I don’t get it…she’s more congenial than I thought she’d be…maybe it’s her helplessness doin’ the talking. Anyway she’s talking… and that’s good!!!
“you two seem decent boys”
“can we do anything to help auntyjee?” I blurt out knowing she’s gonna ask for it anyway.
“we are mechanical engineers. We could maybe try to fix up the car”
“thanks a lot beta, but I’m worried ‘bout your uncle too. He’s gone a long time.”
“I could stay here and try to fix the car while you could go with my friend to look for uncle.” I can almost hear Loser2 cursing.
“would you do that??? You both are God sent!!!”
I can’t believe she bought it!!! They leave…the 3 of them…Loser2, Tanya and her mom sitting in that order in his scooty. I wonder if auntyjee doubted Loser2’s intentions. Loser2 doesn’t mind overloading his scooty though…he seems rather delighted. Can’t care less…the hotter one is all for me!!!

It’s country side…already getting dark…soothing breeze…clear sky…just the two of us…

“you are kinda cute…” kashish is speaking now.
I gulp down all my pickup lines. Try to put a cool smile. Hot and Bold…that’s my type then…I guess. We make small talk. Small and pleasant.
I can’t find the engine…why did I have to boast ‘bout my degree? Do something. I start humming a tune…she seems to like it.
“we composed this song a few years back”
“you have a band???”
“yeah I do.” She looks impressed.
“you know this has always been my fantasy…to be stuck in the middle of a forest with a beautiful girl…just that…”
“just that what???”
“just that I never imagined I’d be stuck with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She’s blushing big time.
“what happens next?...In your fantasy?”
"I ask for her phone number"- didn’t sound good in my mind
“I kiss her as if I were kissing a Goddess” I said
Silence
Maybe I crossed the line.
“then why don’t you?”
We are making out…am I dreaming?...no…I can still feel mosquito bites.
I can’t place the magic in this moment…the absence of any strings…the vulnerability we both feel or Loser2…
Loser2!!! Shit!!! he’s coming back. He has come to take Kashish with him. No mechanics. Her parents are gonna put up in the town for the night.
Loser2…bastad…a-hole…he has guessed…he can almost hear me mumble f.u. I know he’s helpless.
3 hours…loser2 has come back walking…sez Tanya’s father borrowed his bike to get dinner…gone a long time…went out looking…couldn’t find him anywhere…comes back only to find auntyjee and her gorgeous daughters gone. The damn car has no engine…I feel sorry for his bike…actually I don’t…don’t give a damn…the only thing I regret about this whole trip is…are… these bloody mosquitoes…fuk them man…buzzing around my ears……
I am rubbing my eyes as I try to make sense of things…stupid allout…goddamn alarm… has been ringing for a long time I guess. Loser1 needs to suit up…hectic work day ahead…..
Can’t stop thinking ‘bout that dream though. Weekend’s just 4 days ahead. I’m actually considering a trip to kabini river lodge…any Loser2s interested?

the first goes to beer

Rs 11000... and we smell rebellion!!
“BEER ON THE HOUSE”
….is what I wish someone yelled when we are in the pubs hangin’ out. But NO… all these rich bastads are either only in movies, or in obscure pubs I don’t know about.
We do have our moments though- few, but quantifiable, predictable and glorious…
Birthdays- general junta call them…we do too.
I believe that friends are like cattle in some respect- it’s like you rear a cow for a whole year and then milk it dry in a single day. But this one time this cow…chomu we named him…out of some misplaced survival instinct(we are not butchers man!!!) decided that it was enough and about time it stood up for itself…or rather it’s wallet.
Pink slips are painful, but birthday bills are like worm holes…like a million worms just ate your inside leaving gaping holes.
The bill lay on the table
“I am payin’ only half of it” …we heard our cow mow.
“don’t you have it??
silence
“chill dude….our constitution says that we are a socialist nation”
“pay for it now… and we’ll share it later”
our cow is happy

I haven’t paid him since…
An year’s a long time and I believe cows have limited memory….or so I assume.
Today is our cow’s next birthday