Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Carry on ACP...

I watch as the cigarette butt slithers down the commode and with it my last pang of conscience...But don't get me wrong... my guilt never stays with me for long...I’ll run over a puppy on the highway and go...oopsie!! (I don't think chicks dig my blogs...but in case you do…I was just kidding...I love puppies!!! :D)

You might then wonder if my conscience is skewed...

I assure you it's not...and here's why…

For as long as I can remember, my dad's been with the Indian Railways. It is on trains that I’ve had my soundest sleeps, my encounters with the most intimidating
books(and people), my moments of true revelations( I didn't know there was another sex different from the regular dad and mom variety before I boarded my first train!! ) and the most daring standoffs(more about this later). In simple words, I love what the Great Indian Railways stands for and for every ounce of it. So when someone claims to be stronger than a locomotive... I say... take your big red S back to Krypton.

Hence the affection and hence this day....

A1 21...the chart doesn't look promising...I board the train to find the expected... an old guy in front ... a college geek in the seat next to mine… Well, there's one seat still empty...I remember reading the chart in a jiffy...”could be a chick”...or I simply console myself. I open outlook(no it's a book…you GEEK!!) and simultaneously wonder for the nth time as to why I bought it...maybe coz it’s cheap.

"So you are going to Delhi"

It’s not a question… I tell myself… so I need not answer

"Yes... and you?"

"Meerut" he sez

"Hi I’m ACP Rathod" (he was rather ACP Mutthuswami or something...but Rathod sounds catchy...hence the replacement). Now this was something unusual so I keep the conversation going...

"Hi I’m Joshua" (Srinivas doesn't sound cool either!)

"I’ve never met an ACP in person..." (Yeah...I know...dumb thing to say...but I’m a software engineer...need I explain more?)

"Hahaha...so maybe I’ll disappoint you when I say that I’m with the Indian Railways, RPF... and not your conventional types"

Are you kidding me? I’m all the more impressed!!...and so we start chit chatting about all the stupid topics you can come across... politics, defense, role of women in policing (my favorite :D), etc... And as we talk, I am at awe at all the attention showered upon this guy by the train caretakers.

The college geek is rather wise and has kept his mouth shut all this while. He’s made 3 trips to the toilet in the last 2 hours...

"Are you ok?" I knew that sooner or later ACP Rathod would pull this guy into our meaningless conversation too...

"Yeah I’m fine" he's a li'l surprised but not a first time traveler either.

"I don't like the AC too much..." and with this he reminds me of the countless such excuses I’ve made to have a quick smoke in the toilet.

"b.t.w, I’m Chunni Lal" (I’m already thinking 'bout the fag I should've had an hour ago...do you think I’d care to remember his name?) he introduces himself.

After some uncomfortable small talk, I manage to excuse myself to the toilet...

10 minutes and 2 cigarettes later I’m back pretending nothing ever happened... with that satisfied expression on my face you usually have when you are out of the loo after a long wait. Nobody could guess- was my first thought...but I overlooked the fact that Rathod's first few years of service were with a Labrador trying to smell stuff normal people couldn't. He's smiling at me...not the usual smile...I feel it like a stab...like he's sayin'- I know what you've been doin'...and that's the stuff I hate about travelers.

An hour later, another trip to the toilet, another look into those crucifying eyes...

What the...!!! I can't take this anymore!!

It is this rarest of rare occasion that’s made me decide that I wouldn't smoke for the rest of this journey and be the good Samaritan my parents thought I was destined to
be...

2 hours later...
It’s around 12...I guess neither of us is used to sleeping early.
All of a sudden I can see this rather mischievous glint in his eyes...It’s as if ACP Rathod is measuring me up...In a quick trained movement, his hand dives into his
travel bag and pop comes out...what the!!!... Do I see a 12 year old Johnny Walker Black Label!!! YES!!! I almost scream in a manner of...you know what. For a government servant, he sure has eclectic tastes...well don't get me wrong... he has better tastes than most people I know... govt. servants or otherwise.

"Would you like to have one?" he's smiling

"a...no...I mean YEAH sure!!" he let's out a big laughter as he hands me the glass.

As I indulge myself, I can't help but feel something pricking me on the inside... It is when we finish our drinks and he asks me for a cig, that I realize that it was one of the crushed fragments of my conscience...and NOW, I can feel myself beaming...

I hand him a cigarette and we both make a quick dash for the toilet...