Statutory warning- the plot is stupid, the characters fictitious, and the author idiosyncratic (read dumb). You’d be better off reading about syphilis in Wikipedia.
16th May, 2009
“Tell me that you love me”
It’s actually the irony that enthralls me in such conversations. Even with the excuse of a rhetorical question, it’s not as if it were asked from the other side of the bed I was lying in…not even close…picture the Sunday bazaar…commercial street to be precise.
“I’d love to…make love to you” I try to act cute…or funny… or plain stupid…can never figure that part out until she has reacted.
“Shut up” She kinda punches me or something…
“Don’t act smart” smart it is then!
“You men sure know how to ruin a moment” and she’s leaning on me again
“Dude!!! We are in Commercial Street… in the middle of the day… on a Saturday afternoon, with me carrying all these bag thingys… when I should have been home with my friends, watching IPL” I guess the heat has gotten to me… what if my “random” outburst was not totally unwarranted…I think to myself as I prepare to bear the full brunt of the female fury.
“SECONDLY, I never asked you to carry those bags for me”…as if I could have had it any other way.
“IT was YOU who offered to come along”… to buy a PlayStation for her cousin, and not go grocery shopping for her entire family
“and FINALLY I remember you saying that those KITE RUNNERS”…”knight riders”
“DON’T interrupt me when I am speaking”
“That they were horrible this season and that you couldn’t watch Ganguly’s plight”
“You know you look sooooooo cute when you are all red like this…” I put on my silly smile.
“Shut up, I’ll never go shopping with you again”
“Awesome!!!” wait… did I say that out loud?
“Grrr… I’ve changed my mind…make yourself available next weekend. I need to shop for didi’s wedding”
“jee huzoor… aapka hukum sir-ankhon par” …there’s just so much fight left in a strangled rooster…AND I wanted to make sure that I didn’t miss the second match.
A few random spurts, authentic PJs, a parting kiss…and we are cool.
As I’m on my way back I can’t help but smile to myself. A perfect weekend this had been, and to add icing to the cake-Ganguly, Dominoes, Haywards!!! J
24th May, 2009
The week had been gruesome. 55 hours of slogging had made sure that the weekend was without blemishes. Yesterday was one of the moments of T20 glory. One of the two to finish last the previous season were to taste gold (and diamonds, rubies, etc) today.
She called an hour back to tell me that I was utterly useless and a lousy shopping mate; so she’d go shopping with her room mate…well she knows how thoroughly I’ve been following this series so…J
Gilchrist to face Kumble!? Nice move bro…hope Praveen kumar doesn’t get to bowl today.
A nice flighted one, pitched short And there goes his off stump!!!!!!!! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… couldn’t be a better start for Bangalore!!!
And just when I’m about to open my first can… she calls
“Hey beautiful…you won’t believe what an awesome match this is turning out to be…” and I’m cut short with
“buhuhuhuhuhuhuhu…..hick…..hick…buhuhuhuhuhu”
“hehehe”
I guess there’s something wrong with me… or there’s something latently funny about the female wailing.
“BUHUHUHUHUHU…..hick….. BUHUHUHUHUHU” shit it’s gotten louder coz of me.
“kya hua bache? Where are you????”
“I am at…hick… my place… buhuhuhuhuhuhuhu…..hick…..hick…buhuhuhuhuhu”
Something’s seriously gone wrong…hehe
Wallet-check, phone-check, chappals-check (shoes’ll get wet), TROUSERS-double check (won’t make a mockery out of myself again…even if Brahma were waiting at my doorstep…later)
I’ve never gotten dressed this quickly.
E-City-Banshankari in 19 minutes flat- I guess it’s a new record.
I’m wholly drenched. Her room mate answers the calling bell and I rush to her room.
She’s still crying. 15mins of cajoling later I get her to speak.
“My handbag...my shopping bags…hick…the rickshaw waala took them all…hick”
“And… hick…and…my sandal’s broken…buhuhuhuhuhu….”
It’s not working. I need her roommate for a clearer picture.
“OK here’s what I think happened” Stupid ILI courses…why do I feel the need to paraphrase everything?
“You left your shopping bags and purse in the auto when you got down…you ran behind the auto when you realized this when your sandal broke…to top it all some cab guy splattered mud and gobar all over you” Sherlock homes acting funny eh…careful…I remind myself
“YES!!!” she replies indignantly
“Did you take down the auto’s number or remember the name of the driver?”
“No….buhuhuhuhuhuhu”
“Ok, no worries get dressed…and don’t forget your raincoat” she has sensed the urgency in my tone and has done just that.
Banaskankari 2nd Stage Police Station
I check my wallet for cash…1100 change…will do.
Just as we walk in-
”AUTO WAALE BHAIYA” she shout’s in disbelief.
He acknowledges.
They have this animated conversation going as I check her belongings.
“Thanks a lot boss” I hand him a Gandhi as I cut their conversation short.
“No problem” he sez in style, all smiles as he bids adieu.
It has stopped raining. She has been quiet all this while.
“You missed the finals for me” she bemoans
“Are you kidding me? For you… a thousand times over” and the kite runner grin
“Shut up…”
“You already know this by now laddu…”
“What???????”
“…that I’d love to make love to you”
“kya!!!!!!!!!@#$%#”
“aur ye laddu kya hai...are you sayin’ I’m fat....blah blah blah”
And b.t.w. Bangalore lost the finals… won’t even bother with the re-telecast.
p.s. and there you go…back to the syphilis article
1 comment:
love it boss.....,bhai proffesional writing shuru kar de kasam se.....
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